Dear person I hate,
I really wish I was one of those people to say that hate was too strong of a word to use, that there wasn’t anyone I hate. But that’s just not being truthful.
But I’m being completely honest when I say that I am sorry for hating you.
I’m sorry for treating you so badly, I know I’ve done some awful things to you.
I’m sorry for all the names I’ve called you and all of the times I’ve tried to hurt you.
I’m sorry for constantly wishing you didn’t exist and being so mad that you do.
I’m sorry for telling you that no one likes you or wants you here.
I’m sorry I did everything I could to destroy you and to make you turn into someone else.
I’m sorry for ruining your relationships with your friends and family because I said they were better off without you.
I’m sorry you felt your only way of escaping was to try to disappear.
I’m sorry that you tried to end it all.
I’m sorry that you’re haunted every day by the things I have said to you.
God, I am so sorry. I wish things hadn’t turned out this way.
But I hope one day I will look in the mirror, look you right in the eyes and be able to say ‘I don’t hate you anymore’ and mean it.
I think I am surviving
in all the wrong ways
Anorexia will ruin your Christmas. It will ruin your birthday. Friend’s birthdays. Your weekly social outings. Cake day in your literature class at college. The pudding you always enjoyed after dinner in an evening.
Anorexia will ruin your wedding day. The upbringing of your children. Your relationship with your partner.
Anorexia will ruin your friends. Your family. Your lovers. Your children. Everyone you see.
Anorexia will ruin your hair. Your nails. Your circulation. Your body. Your bones. Your love. Your trust. Your self esteem. Your happiness.
But one day
You have the power
You will win.
You’ll get your friends back. Your family will smile when you accept a cookie. Your teachers will laugh when you light up the room with your healthy smile. Your children will love it when Mum bakes and shares it with them. Your partner will hug you and not feel bones but curves and still think you’re just as god damned beautiful as the first day he met you.
You’ll get your healthy hair back. You’ll get strong nails. You’ll be able to wear nice clothes in whatever god damned size your body wants to be. You’ll look in the mirror and fucking smile.
And it might take time. And you might relapse.
And that’s okay.
We all need time. We don’t always succeed straight away.
But trust me darling.
You’ll get your life back.
And it’ll be fucking worth it.
you will beat this -
I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box.
Dear person I hate,
Dear person I like,
Dear ex boyfriend,
Dear ex girlfriend,
Dear ex bestfriend,
Dear future me,
Dear past me,
Dear person I’m jealous of,
Dear person I had a crush on,
i dont like getting yelled at i literally stand there and burst into tears
and they’re like WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!!?! It’s because you’re fucking yelling at me you shithead
sighhhh feminism isn’t about hating all men and wanting to destroy them that’s just my own personal hobby